Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Things I Miss

I read somewhere recently that after something so devastating as a cancer diagnosis, people learn to truly appreciate the small things in life. How true this is! Before Isabella’s hospitalization, I would have said, “Yeah, yeah . . .” But now I long for all those little moments.

I miss the constant commotion at home: the kids running after each other, dancing or singing with their shows, arguing over whose turn it was to play with Nathaniel, etc. Now there’s a different kind of commotion – extended family members coming and going trying to keep Annalise and Nathaniel taken care of and entertained, trying to keep everything at home in order, trying to plan who should do what for the next day.

I miss the “stressful” commute home from work: racing from the office to get Annalise and Isabella from the afterschool program just in the knick of time, throwing them in the car and racing down to Stamford to pick Nathaniel up at Lola’s house. We wouldn’t get home until 7PM, but one of my favorite times was sitting in traffic, singing the girls’ favorite songs with them over and over again. (Thank goodness for Sirius radio record and repeat!)

I miss the weekly trips to the library, desperately trying to find Annalise a new series of books to be interested in, while trying to keep an eye on Isabella in the beginning-reader book room, and running after Nathaniel as he grabs books off the shelves and makes a run for the stairs.

I miss our bedtime routine, including the girls’ last-ditch delay efforts requesting one last drink of water, one more back scratch, one more tuck in, and one more hug and kiss.

I miss sleeping in on Saturday mornings, only to wake up being crowded out of bed by all 3 kids (and the cat!).

All of those little things I used to complain about – I would give anything to have them back if that was all I had to worry about.

1 comment:

  1. Julianne,
    I'm glad to see you are writing. It's impossible for us, even as grandparents of Isabella, to know just how stressful it has been for you. We have only seen the strength with which you and Roneil have been dealing with this. Your entries help us to know a little better what you have been going through internally. You have our and all of your family's support and the support of so many others who have been praying and caring for you all. We love you all.
    Dad and Mom

    We hope you will be home soon so that we can spend more time with you over Christmas. You stay strong, take the medicine, and keep exercising. We will beat this thing! :o)
    Grandpa & Grandma


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