One Month Later

If I had planned it out a little better, I would have waited a couple days to make my last post (Two Weeks Later), to coincide with today, which marks a whole month since Isabella died.  But I didn’t, so you get treated to an extra post!

So it’s been another two weeks since I made that last post and things have gotten a little better.  Things were pretty rough then since we had just buried Isabella and all our family had gone and we were left alone.  As someone so eloquently wrote an e-mail to me recently: the real grieving starts after everyone goes home and boy were they right.  I think that previous post pretty much described it all.

I’ve been back to work a few days and it’s helped to stay distracted for a few hours a day.  It’s better than sitting around all day staring at the walls.  When I get home from work, I still expect to be greeted by three kids, or I should say two kids and a brooding pre-teen listening to music on her iPhone.  But I still cherish that moment when I walk through the door and Nathaniel greets me with a scream, then 30 minutes later, Annalise greets me with “When did you get home?”  We have reminders of Isabella all over the place, whether it be pictures of her on our digital frame or the computer screen saver that remind us of how much fun we had.  I still look at Isabella’s empty bed and miss her, but like I said earlier, it’s getting better.

Today, we visited Isabella’s grave again to drop off some flowers and tidy up her temporary marker.  We still haven’t picked out a marker for her grave, but will probably do so in a few weeks.  When we got home, I noticed a dragonfly hanging around our front yard.  Amazingly, it sat long enough (dare I say “pose”?) for me to take a few pictures before it flew off.