tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27071083335416611922024-03-05T03:13:16.799-05:00Isabella's FightThis page was created to keep our family and friends up-to-date on Isabella's battle with brain cancer. She has completed her chemotherapy and physical therapy at NYU Medical Center in New York City. She has also completed her proton radiation treatment at Boston's Mass General Hospital. With her tremendous spirit and courage, along with all of our support, she will ultimately prevail.Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17459198063090343960noreply@blogger.comBlogger377125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-23899912813395703022013-03-11T02:14:00.001-04:002013-04-26T10:16:49.060-04:00Remembering Isabella<div class="fb-follow" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/isabella.icatar" data-show-faces="true" data-width="400">
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After looking around, I’ve decided to setup a Facebook page for Isabella simply called “<a href="http://www.facebook.com/Isabella.Icatar" target="_blank">Remembering Isabella</a>”. Here, I’ll be posting pictures, videos, and stories about Isabella that will hopefully share what an incredible life she had. As I was sitting with Nathaniel the other day, he said “I miss Isabella!” I then realized that unfortunately, Nathaniel will probably not remember much about Isabella except through pictures and videos. After all, how much do you remember from when you were five?<br />
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So “Remembering Isabella” will be setup to ensure that we never forget her. Each picture and video that I post will include some back story that will hopefully add another dimension to an otherwise one-dimensional photo. We’ll show the good times, the bad times, the fun times, and the sad times. Facebook’s Timeline feature will lend itself nicely to displaying these events in Isabella’s life. You’ll be able to see everything from her birth to her death and everything in between.<br />
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So this web site will remain. I’ll rotate old posts randomly here at the top of the page, and post some stuff periodically, but the majority of new content will be done on Facebook.<br />
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I could have gone the more personalized way with a blog, but I am hoping for a more interactive experience with you, the reader. I want you to “like” and comment on the posts and share them with your circle of friends. I want the entire world to know that cancer doesn’t rob us of faceless kids – cancer robs us of kids who are so innocent and full of life.<br />
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I want the entire world to know Isabella.Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-10780577147378955972013-02-25T23:40:00.001-05:002013-02-25T23:40:23.523-05:00Retiring Isabella’s Fight<p>So for a couple month’s, I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with this web site.  I’ve always wanted to keep it around as a reminder to chronicle everything that we went through, but I’ve also felt that it needs to take on a new direction now.  So I’ve decided to retire this “version” of the web site and move to a new design, which I haven’t picked yet.  </p> <p>The screen saver that I have on all of our computers displays all of our pictures that we’ve taken over the years.  With each picture that displays, I’m brought back to the time that the picture was taken.  I thought it would be neat not just to share some of these pictures and videos with you, but to include some narrative of the picture to help frame a story around the picture.  Many of you only became aware of Isabella when she got sick, but prior to that, she was an extremely vibrant and bright girl.  Even after she got sick, she displayed an amazing resiliency and positive attitude that will continue to drive me until the day that I meet her again.  </p> <p>I want to share those events with you so you can see that Isabella’s life wasn’t just chemotherapy and radiation and sickness.  I want to share those events with you so that we don’t forget Isabella and what a wonderful person she was.  I want to share with you those events so that we are all reminded that pediatric cancer is not just about cute bald kids and ribbons and bracelets – it’s about the innocent lives that are lost and wasted.  Sadly, there are still many thousands out there, fighting for their lives.</p> <p>So I’m not sure yet when I’ll launch the new site (I literally just thought of this a few minutes ago).  The address for this site will continue to be the same.  And the “Isabella’s Fight” site won’t be disappearing – I’ll still make it available from the new site.  I don’t know whether the e-mail alerts will continue to work, but I’ll let you know if you have to sign up again.  I hope you continue to visit the site and I hope that I can make Isabella proud and give you all just a glimpse into what made her so special.</p> <p>Here are some interesting site statistics:</p> <p><u>Number of posts</u>:  380 (including this one)</p> <p><u>Number of pageviews</u>:  138,012 (and counting)</p> <p><u>First Post</u>:  <a href="http://isabella.icatar.com/2008/11/fun-weekend.html">A Fun Weekend</a></p> <p><u>Most Viewed Post</u>:  <a href="http://isabella.icatar.com/2012/09/goodbye-isabella.html">Goodbye Isabella</a></p> <p><u>Next Most Viewed Post</u>:  <a href="http://isabella.icatar.com/2012/09/september-21-2012.html">September 21, 2012</a></p> <p><u>Comments</u>:  689 (thanks to all for reading, even if you never commented!)</p> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-76343323375355072392013-02-14T20:22:00.001-05:002013-02-14T20:22:19.951-05:00Happy Valentine's DayHappy Valentine's Day to everyone out there. Below is a two year old video of Nathaniel giving Isabella a kiss after she gave him a Valentine's Day card. Enjoy!<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="225" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/CqP0BIOorrg" width="400"></iframe>Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-28159719811983895752013-02-13T21:51:00.001-05:002013-02-13T21:54:10.116-05:00Baseball Season 2013<p>It’s hard to think about baseball season when Blizzard Nemo dropped two feet of snow on us, but the Major League’s pitchers and catchers reported to Spring Training camp this week.  And that means that my teams here in CT will be starting up practice soon too.</p> <p>To honor Isabella, I’ll be doing a bunch of things for her on the field (besides trying not to hurt myself).  I’ll be changing my number to 11, which sorta looks like Isabella’s initials.  I’ll also be wearing purple (her favorite color) and gold (the color for pediatric cancer awareness) as much as I can with wristbands and ribbons and what not.</p> <p>But probably the most dramatic look will be my new bat, courtesy of Mr. Pete Tucci of <a href="www.tlbats.com">Tucci Lumber Co</a>.  I previously wrote about his bats in a previous <a href="http://isabella.icatar.com/2012/02/tucci-lumber-bat-co.html">post</a>.  Anyway, here are the bats.  Don’t they look great?</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-PtoAzByjgvA/URxRIrlyO3I/AAAAAAAAECI/fYTPJ2kd8kU/s1600-h/WP_20130213_001%25255B10%25255D.jpg"><img title="WP_20130213_001" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; border-left: 0px; display: block; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="WP_20130213_001" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-y98kBfZFARE/URxRJdau-eI/AAAAAAAAECQ/kv09w4yKJMs/WP_20130213_001_thumb%25255B12%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="424" height="135" /></a></p> <p>Don’t forget to check out his <a href="www.tlbats.com">website</a> if you’re looking for a bat!</p> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-30390780318065779972013-01-01T01:51:00.001-05:002013-01-01T01:51:01.000-05:00Goodbye 2012, Welcome 2013<p>By any measure, 2012 was a pretty rough year all around.  It started out pretty hard with Isabella going through multiple rounds of chemotherapy, then just got worse as we watched her decline until she died.  Every time I think about her, it’s just unfathomable to think that her time here on Earth was just so short with a large chunk spent in sickness.  It’s just so unfair.</p> <p>But as I sit here and reflect on the last year (last few years, actually), I’m reminded that we have to live life to the fullest at all times because you just never know how much time you have.  At the beginning of 2012, we didn’t know that it would be Isabella’s last.</p> <p>So it’s not just my 2013 New Year’s resolution, but my permanent resolution is to savor every moment.  Enjoy life and laugh and have fun every day  like Isabella did.</p> <p>Below are some pictures from some past New Years.  On behalf of our family, we wish you all a very happy and prosperous 2013.</p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-MEYwjO1CYyQ/UOKHRjD6SMI/AAAAAAAAEA0/HBF5IZgzaXs/s1600-h/WP_000429%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="WP_000429" border="0" alt="WP_000429" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-X5eiIVdVJxk/UOKHSG2Y7QI/AAAAAAAAEA8/yVtMLGbj6RY/WP_000429_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a></p> <h5 align="left">12/31/2011 – A giant New Years Eve banana split at Friendly’s.  Notice Isabella is in her pajamas!  Here’s a little secret, Isabella wasn’t actually eating the ice cream, but she had a little cup of oranges that she was eating!  But from the angle of the picture, it looks like she is digging into the sundae!</h5> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-SxahssKcxAI/UOKHTEH3VhI/AAAAAAAAEBE/XPetotXi1d4/s1600-h/IMG_0316%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="IMG_0316" border="0" alt="IMG_0316" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-jx7teJ06Pkc/UOKHTsHFPxI/AAAAAAAAEBM/Nq69DCslMXg/IMG_0316_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a></p> <h5>12/31/2010 – We spent New Years Eve watching fireworks at First Night in Burlington, Vermont.</h5> <p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDA8kSbWDbDlLmXzPCPtoGI_CCy49nV3YXTHyUz3rGE8zmS19ykVRuQkmvhIKt7m2qqdRaGp06WFxEWHW-EDMtRmhF3jchwiqS8XHnkF_SXAgIEOFVk78smPZmLqY5i5NU0p1Kc8IMJIr6/s1600-h/P1010452%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1010452" border="0" alt="P1010452" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-94RCEIdnTE0/UOKHU3vjmVI/AAAAAAAAEBY/Y4Sk6VboDJE/P1010452_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a></p> <h5>12/31/2009 – For this New Years, Isabella had completed her rounds of chemotherapy and radiation so we decided to spend the holidays down in Orlando.  This picture was taken a few minutes before midnight at Downtown Disney.  Notice Isabella’s hair just growing back.  How cute!</h5> <h5>12/31/2008 – I don’t have any pictures to post from this year, but I remember it pretty vividly.  Isabella had just started her intensive rounds of chemotherapy and Julianne, Isabella, and I spent New Years in the hospital.  That’s the closest we’ve been to Times Square at New Years.</h5> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-41635598105003007452012-12-25T00:01:00.000-05:002012-12-25T00:12:22.196-05:00Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas<a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-qpKAuwd2iIo/UNiXqFtLr_I/AAAAAAAAD90/0zUs65Pg14U/s1600-h/P1070074%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img alt="P1070074" border="0" height="235" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-gIPAHCwQfII/UNiXq0kLd6I/AAAAAAAAD98/MRJlsLf40Io/P1070074_thumb%25255B7%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; 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The other night, we spent our first night at our new house. For the last month or so, we’ve been staying with my mom as we waited to have a new heating system installed. The new heating system is still not installed, but we did setup some temporary heat to allow us to live in the house, which is something we wanted to do so we can spend Christmas at the new house.<br />
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After we put Annalise and Nathaniel to bed, I walked by Isabella’s room and stared at the furniture sitting in her room. As I stood in the doorway, I knew that furniture would likely never be used, but I imagined a smiling and healthy Isabella getting ready for bed or doing her homework at her desk. I could see her dancing in her room as she listened to the latest Taylor Swift song, her long curly hair bouncing as she hopped and sang. I could see her running down the stairs with Annalise and Nathaniel on Christmas morning squealing in delight as she saw all the gifts underneath the tree. But she wouldn’t tear through the gifts, as Nathaniel would, she would carefully take the wrapping off each gift.<br />
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Of course, all of these visions will only take place in my head. Although I try to get into the Christmas spirit, it’s hard not to feel a little guilty knowing that our family is incomplete. With the move, we never had the chance to get our Christmas cards ready, but I don’t know if it was because of lack of time or just the thought of trying to pick out a picture for the card that would be gut-wrenching. We also didn’t pick out our traditional annual Christmas tree ornament, again, we just don’t know how to deal with it at this time. Even our Christmas tree isn’t fully decorated with just some lights and a fraction of the ornaments that we normally put on.<br />
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I’d imagine it’ll get easier and better with time. This is certainly a transitional Christmas as it will be our first one without Isabella and the first one at the new house. <br />
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But enough about us. From our family to yours, we wish you a peaceful and Merry Christmas. Here are a few recent pics.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbO3tXISf91zR0OEbOUd-wbJl0g1bbp0nESZHgLENd0w2i7q0DrBrLMgO4wOg9d_cgxjodCxD9p2_Ig69QNjq6I8uXIYrv9Jwt60xorTViu1v6jGztmTed911BN2vCl0fZlpxuBHIb_UKP/s1600-h/IMG_1413%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img alt="IMG_1413" border="0" height="271" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-pBEFvmNbiQM/UNiXskRnJnI/AAAAAAAAD-M/ybmm92yzLVo/IMG_1413_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="IMG_1413" width="404" /></a><br />
<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-TsZahBHriRA/UNiXub4AhkI/AAAAAAAAD-U/85lgajBJ5Wo/s1600-h/IMG_1414%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img alt="IMG_1414" border="0" height="271" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-888PvR5HDco/UNiXvOxB_jI/AAAAAAAAD-c/kkVQgov3_aw/IMG_1414_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="IMG_1414" width="404" /></a><br />
<a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-kj8IxeGinL4/UNiXwk-JQHI/AAAAAAAAD-k/9ubibv1ubQY/s1600-h/IMG_1438%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img alt="IMG_1438" border="0" height="271" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-nbmNxzswUkE/UNiXxNvoMRI/AAAAAAAAD-s/EWMIEdtw2nI/IMG_1438_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="IMG_1438" width="404" /></a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFiM6E-9OgKcOdFiUOP5eG3238jJhqXVCtP-u_kjAETK9f4TTXIe5vcQlSjO1Xp8vgJA0lTJO1fYpZ-gx9x9DQsGIvoC7lgAdDg8PplXEo_IEa9k5rjQ6Za-s3ghCMN7aOTVF_L4vR9fgM/s1600-h/IMG_1445%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img alt="IMG_1445" border="0" height="271" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-AM5_YkhoVTk/UNiXzsvzeBI/AAAAAAAAD-8/zaPm_Vxk2N8/IMG_1445_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="IMG_1445" width="404" /></a><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-HFR9IS4h_9A/UNkdzsftHrI/AAAAAAAAD_4/yG-TV8RoGIU/s1600-h/IMG_1449%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img alt="IMG_1449" border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqhXFvWCqlxckdV70GBiOgv0KkEphUZ0gyv58Qi1jXsuTyg50sA9YPcHjguZlLEKY49IzZ5XrfjHPIoHwc7_9nTU9mzkiIgOUzwOBUClKFoRLO-UUWtlBvMyioBa_nasaMwgqgW3gTDNvt/?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px currentColor; display: block; float: none; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="IMG_1449" width="404" /></a><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-KEHIPeMmL3k/UNkd1ZpMsDI/AAAAAAAAEAI/DdEtj-PKPnc/s1600-h/IMG_1455%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img alt="IMG_1455" border="0" height="271" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-Iqmtp2W5jMs/UNkd18G7szI/AAAAAAAAEAQ/r5f60qvaPAs/IMG_1455_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px currentColor; display: block; float: none; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="IMG_1455" width="404" /></a><br />
And finally, this was one of Isabella’s favorite Christmas songs to sing! Enjoy!<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="242" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/E8gmARGvPlI" width="430"></iframe><br />Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-9562265360608373052012-12-17T20:06:00.001-05:002012-12-17T20:06:11.373-05:00My Thoughts on the Newtown Tragedy<p>For my company, I work in Disaster Recovery and Business Continuity.  Basically, we work on trying to prevent bad things from happening, and if they do, try to minimize the impact so that the business can continue to function.  I usually monitor the news to see if there are any events that could affect the company.  There could be an earthquake, or a tornado, or a protest near one of our sites that could potentially disrupt business.</p> <p>When I saw an alert this morning that there was yet another shooting, I glanced over it, thinking it was just another domestic dispute, or maybe a disgruntled worker.  It stuck in my head just a bit longer than usual because I saw that it was in Connecticut, just a few towns over from where I live.  In fact, over the last couple of summers, Annalise has had several softball games in Newtown, not far from the elementary school where the reported shooting had taken place.</p> <p>I went on with my day, but I kept a window open that constantly refreshed the news.  As more details leaked out and the tragic events unfolded, I began streaming the news on my iPad.</p> <p>The video that the news was showing displayed a scene that was already controlled by the authorities.  Dozens of first responders were on the scene as police locked the area down.  Initial reports said that “only” three people were taken to the hospital and that the gunman had already been killed.  So maybe the damage was limited and perhaps this was a “simple” murder suicide case.  Maybe some guy just got fired and decided to take it out on a couple people at the school.  But whatever the case, it didn’t look too bad.</p> <p>But this wasn’t just another domestic dispute or another case of workplace violence, as I thought at first. The reason that we didn’t see all of the casualties was that they were all still in the building.  At first, the report was that there were several casualties.  Then, there were multiple fatalities.  Then, we found out that several children were among the dead.  With each report, I grew more and more nauseous, hoping that it was just some error in reporting.  But then, our worst fears were confirmed.  At the end of the day, 20 innocent children and 6 adults lost their lives.</p> <p>I instantly thought about Annalise and Nathaniel, especially Nathaniel because he, himself is in kindergarten.  I put myself in that classroom and just imagined the terror and bewilderment the children must have gone through before their all-too-short lives were so callously snuffed out.  I tortured myself by imagining Nathaniel in that room, crying, watching his friends get shot.  I jumped on the next train and went home.</p> <p>It was a long train ride home.  I thought about the parents who came to the sudden realization that their child was no longer alive.  These parents, as many of us do on a daily basis, sent their kids off to school, never questioning that they’ll see them later in the day.  But suddenly, their child was gone.</p> <p>I wrote about this briefly after Isabella died, but in some ways, it is easier on parents like Julianne and myself to lose a child after a long sickness.  We’ve had years to try and do what we could for Isabella, but we also had in the back of our minds what was waiting.  We were able to prepare ourselves mentally for Isabella’s death, and the only unknown variable was when.  We were able to say goodbye to Isabella in our home and held her as she passed.</p> <p>But these parents that lost their child today had no such time to prepare.  They dropped their kids off, fully expecting to pick them up later in the day.  Even as hundreds of other children were being reunited with their families, every minute that went by, the hopes of seeing their child alive diminished.  These parents couldn’t even claim their child’s body as the crime scene investigators scour the area, looking for clues as to the details of what happened.  I don’t even know the emotional toll this could take on them and how they will recover.</p> <p>As more details of this tragic event unfold, we will all be wondering “why” and “how” can such a thing happen?  There will be a lot of focus on the gunman, his parents and upbringing, gun laws, school safety, and lots of other things.</p> <p>But I urge you and the media to focus on the victims and their families.  These are people whose light was extinguished much too soon and they shouldn’t be forgotten.  We should focus on the teachers who heroically and instinctively protected the children and got them to safety.  Teaching is not supposed to be a hazardous occupation.</p> <p>Today, I went to visit Isabella’s grave and I openly wept as I thought about the new kids that she would be meeting.  I could see her greeting Charlotte, Daniel, Olivia, Josephine, Ana, Dylan, Madeleine, Catherine, Chase, Jesse, James, Grace, Emilie, Jack, Noah, Caroline, Jessica, Avielle, Benjamin, and Allison, all with her big smile.</p> <p>Then she would show them around and they would all be running and playing and laughing for eternity.</p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-4kTaczr6tKI/UM_BfjjWC0I/AAAAAAAAD9I/vxvQcq2B5Qg/s1600-h/28065_240995439364525_413130230_n%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="28065_240995439364525_413130230_n" border="0" alt="28065_240995439364525_413130230_n" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-BSMxwNpAmbo/UM_BgYybrzI/AAAAAAAAD9M/UsT0PTKwxZc/28065_240995439364525_413130230_n_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="302" height="304" /></a></p> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-75862261881205469932012-11-16T23:44:00.001-05:002012-11-17T00:57:45.636-05:00Four Year Laters - A New ChapterWhen Nathaniel was born a little over five years ago, Julianne and I knew that we had outgrown our house and would need to move. We had informally started looking at some houses and knew in general what we were looking for. We knew we needed a bigger house and a bigger yard and wanted to stay in the general vicinity. We also knew that we needed to fix up our current house in order to be able to sell it. This was probably the hardest part of it all.<br />
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A year later, our plans were put on hold as Isabella was diagnosed. The plans to move were put on hold as we focused all of our energy on treating Isabella. A year after as Isabella was in remission, we started up talks again of moving, but had to be put on hold again when Isabella's cancer returned.<br />
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The delays probably weren't the worst things in the world since the housing bubble burst in the meantime which sent house prices and mortgage rates lower. Around a year ago, we had a renewed focus to fix up the house to prepare it for the Spring market. We rented out a storage unit and transferred all of our excess stuff to it.<br />
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This Spring, we put our house on the market and began looking at other houses. We looked all over and saw a bunch of different houses (including one that had an indoor pool!). As we visited each house, we would envision our family living in the house and drew up each of the kids' bedrooms. We would scope out the yard to see if there was enough room for Nathaniel to run around and for me and Annalise to practice her pitching. But as the summer dragged on, we never found that perfect house out of the dozens of houses we visited. There was always something wrong with it, whether it was the layout of the kitchen, or the size of the bedrooms. On top of that, we had yet to sell our own house.<br />
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Late in the summer, a foreclosed property popped up on my house alerts that matched our criteria and we immediately scheduled a visit with our realtor. I didn't have much hope in it, because we saw other foreclosed and short-sale properties and they were generally a mess and needed a ton of work. But when we visited this house, it seemed to be in good shape despite not being lived in for a couple years. "This could be it!" we thought, but again, we didn't want to get our hopes up because the bidding for foreclosures is generally pretty cutthroat. After being on the market for just four days, the bank asked for best and final offers. We put our offer in, and hoped for the best, but again didn't expect anything.<br />
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So when our realtor called and told us that our offer was accepted, we were shocked and thrilled. We began the long and arduous task of getting a mortgage. Last week, after battling hurricanes and snowstorms, we finally closed on the house and began moving in. There is some major work before we can actually start living in the house, so we've moved in with my mom temporarily.<br />
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The week that Isabella died, we all went out to the new house and picked rooms. We didn't know at the time that that would be Isabella's last time at the house. As Isabella was dying in our bed, we had already known we were going to be moving. We felt bad that Isabella would be "stuck" at our old house after we moved, but our hospice nurse reasoned with us that we wouldn't feel that way if Isabella had died at the hospital. It would have been great if she lived long enough to move into the new house with us, but it just didn't work out, but we're glad she had a chance to see the house and her room before she died.<br />
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So here we are, now, exactly four years after Isabella was first diganosed. Although these four years have flown by, as I read through past posts, I am just overwhelmed and amazed by everything that we've gone through. Our family has been changed and we'll never be the same. Again, we were comforted knowing that Isabella had just recently seen her room at the new house and will be with us in spirit. <br />
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But we need this change and this new beginning. Although we are grateful for our community and the tremendous support that they've shown over these years, we needed a physical change of scenery to continue the healing process for us. And it's not like we're trying to leave Isabella behind or forget about her, because she'll keep her room that we promised her and decorate it with all of her things as a lasting memorial to our little angel.<br />
Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-88062135450313046502012-10-21T17:15:00.000-04:002012-10-22T23:25:07.701-04:00One Month Later<p>If I had planned it out a little better, I would have waited a couple days to make my last post (<a href="http://isabella.icatar.com/2012/10/two-weeks-later.html">Two Weeks Later</a>), to coincide with today, which marks a whole month since Isabella died.  But I didn’t, so you get treated to an extra post!</p> <p>So it’s been another two weeks since I made that last post and things have gotten a little better.  Things were pretty rough then since we had just buried Isabella and all our family had gone and we were left alone.  As someone so eloquently wrote an e-mail to me recently: the real grieving starts after everyone goes home and boy were they right.  I think that previous post pretty much described it all.</p> <p>I’ve been back to work a few days and it’s helped to stay distracted for a few hours a day.  It’s better than sitting around all day staring at the walls.  When I get home from work, I still expect to be greeted by three kids, or I should say two kids and a brooding pre-teen listening to music on her iPhone.  But I still cherish that moment when I walk through the door and Nathaniel greets me with a scream, then 30 minutes later, Annalise greets me with “When did you get home?”  We have reminders of Isabella all over the place, whether it be pictures of her on our digital frame or the computer screen saver that remind us of how much fun we had.  I still look at Isabella’s empty bed and miss her, but like I said earlier, it’s getting better. </p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-xZ5MOGAOi60/UIYN9cyn5AI/AAAAAAAAD7Y/MX7InkircxE/s1600-h/P1080853%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><font color="#29303b"></font><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080853" border="0" alt="P1080853" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-k05a9oJRcvc/UIYN-O5YxGI/AAAAAAAAD7g/pjPZmrMp_CA/P1080853_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a></p> <p>Today, we visited Isabella’s grave again to drop off some flowers and tidy up her temporary marker.  We still haven’t picked out a marker for her grave, but will probably do so in a few weeks.  When we got home, I noticed a dragonfly hanging around our front yard.  Amazingly, it sat long enough (dare I say “pose”?) for me to take a few pictures before it flew off.</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-Avfd12b-y2w/UIYN_P2i0cI/AAAAAAAAD7o/A8gOClZA6Gk/s1600-h/P1080888%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080888" border="0" alt="P1080888" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDqNd0ew0xKKcJ69fjbDGbfwuCbu_x-pxQTXGrK5jO3Afx1AojX7Ji_knaTBDObdh9YducxqRsvXcHyFtpNK6ikHIiQ4BRzq-xb-9FE0UwP8z6ohUDHsCP9zju2M7iiqdYkQA2NOdApVmr/?imgmax=800" width="405" height="303" /></a></p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-ctwpjdfRFVY/UIYOAaR3NbI/AAAAAAAAD74/I2f3IiLFXrA/s1600-h/P1080882%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080882" border="0" alt="P1080882" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-7hQgfA6KrzY/UIYOA_M8syI/AAAAAAAAD8A/nGq9HWcc_E4/P1080882_thumb%25255B8%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="402" height="306" /></a></p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-bokY_JONwHA/UIYOB_K91_I/AAAAAAAAD8I/i21O6fbp9JI/s1600-h/P1080883%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080883" border="0" alt="P1080883" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-lOFd4_zmRDc/UIYOCe5cNkI/AAAAAAAAD8M/2ygphtCCb6I/P1080883_thumb%25255B5%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="153" /></a></p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-hWaeGkKGoT8/UIYOD_TGrJI/AAAAAAAAD8Y/pr5TsRea-Jg/s1600-h/P1080885%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080885" border="0" alt="P1080885" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-7Cgr_hnSSO8/UIYOEdXhB0I/AAAAAAAAD8g/GXmh_VympDw/P1080885_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a></p> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-13664380345025651232012-10-18T22:52:00.002-04:002012-10-18T22:52:32.395-04:00Two Weeks Later<a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-5yAFm69fBAg/UG5QcjofBAI/AAAAAAAAD50/ENRbzW2S6u4/s1600-h/rainbow-sunset-beach-wallpaper-1024x%25255B2%25255D.jpg"><img alt="rainbow-sunset-beach-wallpaper-1024x768" border="0" height="304" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-cs84UxF6qiM/UG5QiTzi9kI/AAAAAAAAD58/ggULyk98Uak/rainbow-sunset-beach-wallpaper-1024x%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="rainbow-sunset-beach-wallpaper-1024x768" width="404" /></a><em>NOTE: I original wrote this two weeks ago, but didn't feel like posting it at the time. I do that from time to time. Sometimes I end up posting things after a few days to brew, and sometimes I never end up posting it. This one brewed for a couple weeks.</em><br />
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I can’t believe that it’s been (almost) two weeks since Isabella died. Part of me thinks that I’m going to wake up at any minute and realize this has all been a bad dream. But the rational side of me knows it’s all too true.<br />
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It’s been pretty tough trying to adjust to this new chapter in our life. I still walk by her bed and expect to see her laying there, and I just want to walk over and run my fingers through her hair just one more time. When we were preparing the seats for the cemetery, I realized that we would only need four seats instead of the five that I am so accustomed to. Today, I was answering a survey over the phone and when they asked how many dependents I had, I had to stop and think and change my answer mid-stream (then try to compose myself to finish the survey). I also had to fill out the forms to close out her college education funds which we’ve been contributing to since she was born. It makes me sad that her true brilliance will never be known to us.<br />
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Also today, the hospice company came over and picked up all the medical equipment from our house. Although it’s nice that our house no longer looks like a wing of the hospital, it feels like we’re slowly just trying to forget or erase Isabella from our memory. But of course that couldn’t be further from the truth, but that’s how it feels. That’s why I felt bad taking Isabella’s car seats out of the cars, or taking her wheelchair out of the car for the last time and storing it away. We won’t need those again.<br />
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When we visit Isabella’s grave, I still can’t believe that our little girl is in a box just a few feet below my own feet. Alone. In darkness. Forever. If I could, I’d dig up her casket right there just to give her another hug. Just to tell her how sorry I am that she had to go through so much pain and suffering. Pain and suffering that she didn’t deserve.<br />
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I think the worst part is the guilt I feel. It’s not the typical survivor’s guilt, although there is some of that. The guilt I feel is because a part of me is relieved. Relieved that not only is Isabella no longer suffering, but relieved that we no longer have to deal with a sick child. Now admittedly, Julianne carried the large portion of the burden of caring for Isabella, but there was still such a huge emotional and physical strain and stress of having a dying child. But now that strain and stress are gone, and I am relieved. Don’t get me wrong. I’d trade it all back in a second and deal with the stress if Isabella could still be alive. But I still feel guilty for feeling relieved, because shouldn’t I be mourning? Shouldn’t I be more sad?<br />
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I know it’s only been two weeks and there’s a lot of time and a lot of emotions and a lot of healing left. But I do feel that we have an advantage because we’ve had plenty of time, almost four years, to prepare for Isabella’s death. As I mentioned at her funeral mass, practically every day since Isabella was diagnosed, I would think about her eulogy and what I would say, but still hoping that I would never need it. We were able to be with Isabella when she died and said goodbye on our terms, in our house. I can’t imagine what it is like for those parents who’ve had to bury their children after a sudden and tragic death, without having that closure.<br />
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I know that it’s supposed to get better over time, but a part of me doesn’t want to let go, doesn’t want to forget the pain and hurt because when that happens, a little bit of Isabella will also disappear.<br />
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Thanks for reading.Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-61721801751594799452012-10-05T22:15:00.001-04:002012-10-05T22:15:56.637-04:00#IsabellasPurpleFriday<p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-RnIXvKYqGZs/UG-UUJvsc_I/AAAAAAAAD6c/fq3i0dvqzxk/s1600-h/P1080862%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080862" border="0" alt="P1080862" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-q_2uAckPcH4/UG-UUgRIwII/AAAAAAAAD6k/lQrWIhHq-bI/P1080862_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a></p> <p>So Annalise told me that she organized something on Instagram where she asked all of her friends to wear purple today in honor of Isabella.  She got a really nice response, and I’m really proud of her to do that.  So if you’re on Instagram, check out #IsabellasPurpleFriday to see all the pictures.</p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-mPNv4MigvWs/UG-UWBgh7EI/AAAAAAAAD6s/ClFC8-fY0CM/s1600-h/P1080854%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080854" border="0" alt="P1080854" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-tLsF4cqg5IU/UG-UWuvMNxI/AAAAAAAAD60/CWDUvyj3bmA/P1080854_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="229" height="304" /></a></p> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-11319477257517356132012-10-03T15:24:00.001-04:002012-10-03T15:24:19.917-04:00Waterbugs and Dragonflies<p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-Ktb7HUqt91I/UGyQ4IzttFI/AAAAAAAAD5M/3AzqhUYO8bQ/s1600-h/21%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="21" border="0" alt="21" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-YJTFBLditFE/UGyQ4uX6G2I/AAAAAAAAD5U/H5B0nmfZbS8/21_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="271" /></a>It’s difficult to try and describe death and the transition from life to death to children.  Julianne found the parable below which beautifully describes this.  We read it to Isabella and the kids on the night she died, and I also read it at Isabella’s funeral mass.  As I mentioned at the mass, the story has provided us comfort and hopefully, it does so for you.</p> <p>As a side note, today we went to visit Isabella’s grave.  While we were there, we saw a bunch of dragonflies flying around, and I couldn’t help but think of this story.</p> <p><strong><u>Waterbugs and Dragonflies</u></strong></p> <p><em>by Doris Stickney</em></p> <blockquote> <p>Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in a while one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about with its friends. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily, it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.</p> <p> <br />“Look!” said one of the water bugs to another. “One of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you suppose she is going?” Up, up, up it went slowly. Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn’t return. “That’s funny!” said one water bug to another. “Wasn’t she happy here?” asked a second water bug. “Where do you suppose she went?” wondered a third. No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled.</p> <p> <br />Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. “I have an idea. The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why.” “We promise,” they said solemnly.</p> <p> <br />One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broken through the surface of the water, and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.</p> <p> <br />When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn’t believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings. The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself up above <br />the water. He had become a dragonfly.</p> <p> <br />Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by, the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were, scurrying about, just as he had been doing some time before. Then the dragonfly remembered the promise: “The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why.”</p> <p> <br />Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water. “I can’t return!” he said in dismay. “At least I tried, but I can’t keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I’ll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they’ll understand what happened to me, and where I went.” And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air.</p></blockquote> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-53962172708521950422012-10-01T18:09:00.001-04:002012-10-01T18:12:18.694-04:00A Sea of Color to Bid Farewell<p>Julianne and I are extremely grateful and humbled by the incredible turnout that we had for Isabella’s wake and funeral.  We had visitors from all over the country come by to say their final goodbyes to our sunshine girl.  We were standing and greeting visitors at the wake from start to finish (over four hours!), and although our feet and backs ached afterwards, it was well worth speaking with everyone.</p> <p>We are also glad that we asked everyone to dress in bright colors because it was really neat to see the sea of color at both the wake and the funeral mass.  I’m sure Isabella was looking down and appreciated the colors that we all wore – so much so that Isabella treated us to a double rainbow yesterday!</p> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-qvYyeYtDPRw/UGoUPIAW0vI/AAAAAAAAD18/JfKt8pmTDF0/s1600-h/double_rainbow%25255B2%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="double_rainbow" border="0" alt="double_rainbow" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-JoHGIfnG-N0/UGoUP70W9SI/AAAAAAAAD2E/fT1POjZCl2A/double_rainbow_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Isabella treats us to a double rainbow at the Marvin family picnic on 9/30/12</h6> <p>For those of you that missed the services, here are a couple pictures and a video of the lantern launch that we did at the cemetery to honor Isabella.</p> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-3ojkqNqEoLM/UGoURfJyU3I/AAAAAAAAD2M/X1LQ_Q6mqKU/s1600-h/P1080736%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080736" border="0" alt="P1080736" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-zOju-xIHWjs/UGoUSFM5woI/AAAAAAAAD2U/GHxYOh868ag/P1080736_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>We handed out these butterflies to all the visitors</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-P0YAIqo05E4/UGoUT7hpDGI/AAAAAAAAD2c/Nf3vVxva_e4/s1600-h/P1080747%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><font color="#956839"></font><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080747" border="0" alt="P1080747" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAKebfm30-zHE4hAHOtQ4btlMF14ltGTYJ6nVqZXy6x0sDMN0bR3RY4SweQaE5oiWrrL6UP9XL8ABr1pqAR2HsWAeWUi1m9JRbe_0iMpa5_a2YXWwIplahEBOB6uhl0YcvPYTAv70_PErO/?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Isabella was surrounded by lots of pretty colors and flowers</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-sn1NR8FHUnA/UGoUWJ4JJpI/AAAAAAAAD2s/bcnQU0QPV1M/s1600-h/P1080749%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080749" border="0" alt="P1080749" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-Ok8aJ9YS_DQ/UGoUW4xHDWI/AAAAAAAAD20/WdTySQ3sMI8/P1080749_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Nathaniel sits and watches <a href="http://isabella.icatar.com/2012/09/isabellas-video.html">Isabella’s video</a>.  We also had a bunch of posters with pictures of Isabella throughout her life.</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-9mjdQgkXw2c/UGoUYDeEoiI/AAAAAAAAD28/eZkxecOa5zs/s1600-h/P1080754%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080754" border="0" alt="P1080754" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-O8eLfBorjXQ/UGoUY-xmecI/AAAAAAAAD3A/A5mFrQq1fPQ/P1080754_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>We displayed these two pictures of Isabella.  One was when she was bald and going through treatments and the other while she was in remission.</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-sPbwfmq0Wxs/UGoUaHBMkEI/AAAAAAAAD3M/INa0GmuUriY/s1600-h/P1080755%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080755" border="0" alt="P1080755" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-7RIDQP8ZjaE/UGoUa2OjVvI/AAAAAAAAD3U/DSrvAWfcEOk/P1080755_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="229" height="304" /></a>Isabella’s art work greets the kids at the children’s sign in table.</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-ot-GlwS1SYM/UGoUcYoHudI/AAAAAAAAD3g/TxUtAPILXQQ/s1600-h/P1080800%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080800" border="0" alt="P1080800" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-agY82KXwou8/UGoUcxaMkMI/AAAAAAAAD3k/lDdfjxzTSz0/P1080800_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Our family poses for one last time with Isabella.</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-BCjoE-X5-dc/UGoUe4eVMVI/AAAAAAAAD3w/h9WOpYHaUGs/s1600-h/P1080806%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080806" border="0" alt="P1080806" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8aHV3QRFH7J2z1niOp0Ao1mGfM3jitOiAwUniIE1LSkRpXmpWKvERyqkKPDvRuduw4ph755TAdYz5IR8BQzynpqCRLQV9J4PJ9xy27xAI8XpRnl5ONuCL2HEf1eXT5jAHN1eFZCq-bmVa/?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Isabella being brought into the church before the funeral.</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-D0mi56MgIaU/UGoUhQ5NhPI/AAAAAAAAD4A/KXE6RsRcdcM/s1600-h/P1080823%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080823" border="0" alt="P1080823" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-e9AJH_qXAdA/UGoUiNsn-pI/AAAAAAAAD4I/PkulvtQrPI4/P1080823_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Annalise says farewell to Isabella, Hunger Games style!</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtpoB-T5UqgatQsr67fZg6bf0aiC48wMEzzbEmnBoMQF_CuQ3vDu2-_rUjT_fLhzsmV8YAhN5JXziN8T0eL0bElsrJ4xTfLlbj8TIALoOA5zUqSZiv4jh1RPo0T9ZU-8wr6CN9mDoVwiD7/s1600-h/P1080816%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><font color="#956839"></font><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080816" border="0" alt="P1080816" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-nwx382B4v-g/UGoUkdzx_YI/AAAAAAAAD4Y/1HxDSjRgptw/P1080816_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Friends and family lay their flowers on Isabella’s casket.</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-FMs0uc48r5Y/UGoUmYsiPoI/AAAAAAAAD4k/WCbZSUC4VtA/s1600-h/P1080848%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080848" border="0" alt="P1080848" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-20WNDJ6EEp0/UGoUn6he5kI/AAAAAAAAD4s/F5zxnpuEVV4/P1080848_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>We spruced up Isabella’s temporary marker with some extra flowers.</h6> <p><iframe height="236" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/UumCgdpoVD8" frameborder="0" width="420" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <p>Special thanks to the Catino family for getting us the lanterns on such short notice!</p> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-80846018297998774162012-09-30T20:12:00.001-04:002012-09-30T20:12:21.329-04:00Do You Have Pictures of Isabella?<p>If you do, please click the link below to upload them to a shared folder that I created.  These photos can be from this weeks services or from anytime.  I’m sure there are plenty of photos of Isabella that we haven’t seen and we’d love to see them.</p> <p><a title="http://sdrv.ms/R5CWKi" href="http://sdrv.ms/R5CWKi">http://sdrv.ms/R5CWKi</a></p> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-21716835231768798412012-09-29T23:42:00.000-04:002012-09-29T23:45:14.197-04:00September 21, 2012Author’s note: This blog post will describe Isabella’s last days. It will be lengthy and portions will be difficult to write (and read). Some content may be more personal than I would normally put (especially some pictures that may be upsetting to some). But just as with the rest of the blog, I write not just to keep you informed, but for myself in that it is both therapeutic and allows me to not forget.<br />
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Because of this, I decided to split this post. To read the entire post, click the title above.<br />
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A few weeks ago, we asked Isabella if she wanted to go back to school. It was the end of August and Annalise and Nathaniel were preparing to go to school themselves. Annalise was entering seventh grade and Nathaniel was extra excited because he was going to be starting kindergarten at Marvin, the same school where his older sisters went.<br />
<a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-BKBalHnIr8M/UGE9_8q29TI/AAAAAAAADyQ/pD-ppBK5u9M/s1600-h/P10805196.jpg"><img align="right" alt="P1080519" border="0" height="306" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-qUWq2jDl-fk/UGE-BK_1p7I/AAAAAAAADyY/COeKTT_sdQg/P1080519_thumb8.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: inline; float: right; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="P1080519" width="228" /></a><br />
Isabella hadn’t gone to school in a long time, even for just a visit. The cancer that would kill her was working its way through her brain and had basically paralyzed her. She could no longer talk or move any part of her body. The only way she ate and drank was when we pushed food and drink through a tube going through her nose and down her esophagus and into her stomach. For months, we could only ask her “yes/no” questions and she would answer by nodding her head. When she was no longer able to move her head, she would raise open her eyes wide and look up to answer yes. At some point in August, she was no longer able to even raise her eyes to answer.<br />
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So when we asked her if she wanted to go to school, we weren’t expecting an answer, so we were extremely surprised when she opened her eyes wide and looked up. An emphatic “yes!” Isabella wanted to go to school. But we decided we’d wait a couple weeks to visit the school since the first couple weeks are usually hectic, plus we weren’t quite sure if she would be able to handle the onslaught of her old classmates coming up to her.<br />
On Thursday night, Marvin school was holding their open house and we thought it’d be a perfect time to bring Isabella to school. Since there would be few children there, Isabella wouldn’t be overwhelmed with the kids and she’d be able to see her teachers and classroom. <br />
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As we walked into the school, we were welcomed by a table where some students were promoting pediatric cancer awareness through the school’s “<a href="http://isabella.icatar.com/2012/09/we-have-all-been-touched.html">We Have All Been Touched</a>” program. We picked up our gold ribbons and pinned them to our clothes and to Isabella’s wheelchair. We admired all the colorings and drawings that adorned the walls of the students sharing their thoughts and feelings about “hope”, “caring”, “courage”, and “love”. We were touched by the dozens and dozens of purple butterflies that draped the walls of the school in honor of Isabella. We were flooded with emotions as we walked through the school as we saw some of her old classmates and her old teachers as they walk up to say hello.<a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-To7_aUjAQRs/UGE-CeXJzPI/AAAAAAAADyg/QYRChSgOXyQ/s1600-h/Roneils-Lumia-900_0002423.jpg"><img alt="Roneil's Lumia 900_000242" border="0" height="304" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-0xb40_TkylI/UGE-C-ji4vI/AAAAAAAADyo/MWfbXmaqXhg/Roneils-Lumia-900_000242_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="Roneil's Lumia 900_000242" width="404" /></a><br />
As we were leaving the school, we met another parent who lost her own child just last year to brain cancer. Perhaps prophetically, she offered that when Isabella was ready to move on, her own daughter would be ready to welcome her. I never thought that it would be less than 24 hours later.<br />
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But Isabella was asleep throughout the visit. In brain tumor patients, the child usually ends up sleeping most of the day (up to 20 hours) in the days before they die and Isabella was no different. We don’t know if she even knew she was at school. We don’t know how aware of her surroundings she was, which is why we found it strangely coincidental that just as we were putting Isabella in the car to go home, Isabella began developing a different, more labored breathing pattern. Maybe she was just waiting to go to school one last time. <br />
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Last week, Isabella caught a cold that was making its way around our house. Because of her weakness, it was difficult for her to breath because of the buildup of mucous in her nose and throat. She would have problems breathing until we would clear out her nose and throat of the mucous with swabs, after which she would breath better. So when we brought Isabella home after the open house, we thought her breathing issues were just due to the cold. But oddly, when we swabbed her mouth, there wasn’t much mucous and she would continue her labored breathing even after we swabbed. We wouldn’t know for several hours, but the cancer that was eating away at her brain had just reached a critical point where her breathing was now being compromised. <br />
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As the evening progressed, we tried everything to get Isabella to breath better. We had several tricks <a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-P5dx1o7dQ-I/UGE-EhR1i6I/AAAAAAAADyw/sfEVnOPonWY/s1600-h/P10806914.jpg"><img align="left" alt="P1080691" border="0" height="229" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-p63DH_cmtlE/UGE-FFY8K6I/AAAAAAAADy4/ANyjTKN1DWg/P1080691_thumb1.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: inline; float: left; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="P1080691" width="304" /></a>up our sleeve which involved positioning and re-positioning her on the couch. We had medicine to help clear her congestion. We had an oxygen machine to help her breath. We would carry her over our shoulders to help extend her torso which would normally improve her breathing. But none of it worked this time, even as we carried her until our arms ached.<a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-TDcFWPq50sM/UGE-GEJ9QlI/AAAAAAAADzA/XFDNESv1gGY/s1600-h/P10806925.jpg"><img align="right" alt="P1080692" border="0" height="309" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-l-hz3muD-8w/UGE-GuP25NI/AAAAAAAADzE/ijEjUJdDIz8/P1080692_thumb7.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: inline; float: right; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="P1080692" width="254" /></a><br />
We grew more worried and called our doctors. We were considering driving Isabella into New York city because if this was just some infection, it may be treatable with some antibiotics. This was what happened <a href="http://isabella.icatar.com/2012_06_03_archive.html">back in June when we drove Isabella to the emergency room</a>. Back then, I thought she might die as she laid there in the ER, but after some antibiotics, we brought Isabella home. But this time, our doctor told us that she didn’t think this was due to an infection, but instead it was tumor related – that it had reached that critical point in the brainstem that controlled breathing.<br />
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Almost four years ago, when Isabella was first diagnosed, one of my first posts was how one of the <a href="http://isabella.icatar.com/2008/11/best-decision-we-ever-made.html">best decisions we ever made</a> was to bring Isabella to NYU to have her treated. We believe that decision saved her life and gave us four more years with her. Now we had another decision, and that was whether to bring her to the hospital. We decided to stay home and not go into the city. If Isabella was truly about to die, I had always pictured it to be at our house and not in some strange bed in a cold hospital room. This ended up also being one of the best decisions we had to make.<br />
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It was now past midnight and Annalise and Nathaniel had gone to bed since they had school the next day. We didn’t know how much time Isabella had left, so we woke them up and brought them downstairs to say their goodbyes and to give their sister a kiss. We took our last family picture on the couch. It’s not quite photo studio quality, but we have it. We debated whether we should call my mom and Julianne’s parents but decided against it given how late it was.<br />
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<a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-SHWe57207ug/UGE-Hrdw36I/AAAAAAAADzQ/R2fx8Muf_rA/s1600-h/P10806874.jpg"><img alt="P1080687" border="0" height="257" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-uS8xcJ2I910/UGE-II58t2I/AAAAAAAADzY/I9vkzy7hnd0/P1080687_thumb5.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="P1080687" width="477" /></a>Our last family picture – Friday, September 21, 12:30am</h6>
For the next several hours into the wee morning, we sat in our living room watching and listening to Isabella breathe. Each breath was more labored than the last. Annalise and Nathaniel fell asleep on one couch. Isabella, Julianne, and I squished on the other couch. I didn’t want to fall asleep because I didn’t want Isabella to just pass with no one watching. Or perhaps it would be better to just wake up and she’d be gone? We fought the urge, but Julianne and I finally fell asleep at some point, holding Isabella’s leg as she laid on the couch.<br />
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Early the next morning, we woke up, and peeked over at Isabella who was sleeping but still breathing with difficulty. Annalise woke up and went to school, which was somewhat surprising since she got so little sleep. We called my mom and told her about the situation and she came right over. We called Julianne’s parents and they immediately got in the car to begin the five plus hour drive from Vermont. We didn’t think they’d make it in time. We also sent Nathaniel off to school because he was his usual hyperactive, rambunctious self, and that really wasn’t what we needed. We also called the hospice service who sent over a nurse to help us out.<br />
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At some point, we brought Isabella upstairs to our bed. We knew that there were going to be a lot of people at the house so we wanted to keep her in a quieter, less active place in the house. Julianne and I took turns holding Isabella or adjusting her to try and get her breathing to calm down to no avail. When the hospice nurse came, she saw Isabella’s condition and immediately ordered some morphine. We didn’t have the right dosage in the house so she made all the calls to get the proper prescriptions filled, then sent my brother out to get the medicine. I just have to point out that I don’t know how we would have made it through the day without our hospice nurse. She was an amazing rock that helped us deal with such a horrible situation.<br />
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Shortly after we gave Isabella the morphine, her breathing slowed down and she looked a lot more comfortable. At one point, she had been breathing very shallow and at 100 times per minute and her heartbeat had jumped to 200 beats per minute. It was very difficult for Julianne and me to watch Isabella as she looked like she was struggling to breathe. I think it would have been very traumatic for us if she had died while she was struggling to breathe. But our nurse assured us that at this point, Isabella was not feeling any of the effects of the labored breathing, and that it was definitely more difficult for the parents to watch than it was on the child. The morphine, she said half-jokingly, was more to ease us than it was for Isabella. And she was right. After Isabella’s breathing slowed down, she looked a lot more comfortable which made us a little more comfortable.<br />
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Our hospice nurse called a social worker to come over to prepare Annalise and Nathaniel for when they came home from school. We weren’t sure if she would still be alive when they came home, so we discussed asking them if they wanted to come to see Isabella. <a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-MXkzk_4p_g4/UGE-J5XF9ZI/AAAAAAAADzg/xywlo1682vc/s1600-h/P10807084.jpg"><img align="right" alt="P1080708" border="0" height="229" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-6L7Nk6gTr1Q/UGE-KL5QbVI/AAAAAAAADzo/hhmSdTnS45o/P1080708_thumb1.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: inline; float: right; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="P1080708" width="304" /></a> Shortly after the kids got home, Julianne’s parents arrived from Vermont, which was a minor miracle since we never thought she’d make it. At one point when we thought Isabella was close to dying, we called them on their cell phone and they were still in Massachusetts.<br />
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I remember ten years ago, when my dad was about to die, I was rushing to get to the hospice room where he was staying. There was an accident on the highway which led to a lot of traffic and I didn’t think I was going to make it. But somehow I did, and a few minutes after I got there, he died. There are plenty of stories of people hanging on to life just enough for something before dying, and I was amazed to see that Isabella lived until her grandparents arrived.<br />
<a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-p9SmlT0AJSs/UGE-LyG8dYI/AAAAAAAADzw/mSGNo7YQTtI/s1600-h/P10807123.jpg"><img alt="P1080712" border="0" height="304" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-oTKk4MkfKbk/UGE-Mo3KDuI/AAAAAAAADz4/p-mEZ1In1Sc/P1080712_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="P1080712" width="404" /></a><br />
Julianne and I took turns holding Isabella as our parents stood around and watched. We hadn’t eaten all day and I was starting to really get woozy from not eating. Isabella’s breathing had slowed down dramatically from the 100 breaths per minute earlier and she <a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-99Uy7ySVPQ8/UGE-NtQZ3XI/AAAAAAAAD0A/WP5u6GbMY7Y/s1600-h/P10807135.jpg"><img align="left" alt="P1080713" border="0" height="323" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-dJZ8Oz8jEdQ/UGE-OPCb43I/AAAAAAAAD0I/n52u4dlsYBw/P1080713_thumb5.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: inline; float: left; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="P1080713" width="254" /></a>looked a lot more peaceful. I wanted to go down and grab a bowl of soup but Julianne said that I should stay. <br />
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And I did. As Julianne held Isabella, I laid next to them and placed my hands on Isabella’s back, feeling her breathe in, then breathe out. As time went on, her breaths became even slower. With each breath, I would hold my own, waiting to see if Isabella breathed again. Each breath became shallower and shallower, barely above the sound of a whisper.<br />
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At around 5:15pm, Isabella took her last breath. We waited for her next breath, but it never came.<br />
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Our little Isabella was gone.<br />
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Everyone in the room started crying as Julianne continued to hold Isabella. I took Isabella and held her and wept uncontrollably. It was the first time that I cried so intensely since November 17, 2008, the night we found the tumor in Isabella’s head. Even as I write this, I can still see her face as I held her dead body and she looked so peaceful that you would have thought that she was just sleeping. Julianne and I talked about this later, but Isabella’s death was really beautiful. There was no gasping, no wailing, no crying. Isabella just drifted off. It’s hard to imagine describing someone’s death as beautiful, but somehow, Isabella pulled it off.<br />
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I don’t know how long I held her, but at some point, I laid her back down on the bed. Other relatives had started to come over to see Isabella and there was a procession of family members streaming in. With each person that came in, I shed a fresh set of tears.<br />
<br />
Around 7:00pm, the funeral director came to pick up Isabella. We elected to carry her out instead of having them carry her out on a stretcher. For the last time, I picked Isabella up off the bed and placed her head on my shoulder. Almost by habit, Julianne fixed Isabella’s head to the side so that her face was not buried in my <a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-HZ3fVLKVdjU/UGE-O3u4IDI/AAAAAAAAD0Q/x_u1JXcjyS8/s1600-h/P1080719.jpg"><img align="right" alt="P1080719" border="0" height="426" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-7e4c5h0BXJQ/UGE-PYkI77I/AAAAAAAAD0Y/l540RhIJrFw/P1080719_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border: 0px currentColor; display: inline; float: right; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="P1080719" width="288" /></a>shoulder. Someone watching could have thought that it was just like the dozens of other times that I picked up Isabella, perhaps to take her downstairs to watch TV on the couch or out to the car for a ride to the beach. I carefully walked down the stairs, one step at a time. I was just as careful not to shake Isabella around, just as when I carried her after she had just eaten and we didn’t want to jostle her around too much. As I walked Isabella out of our living room and out of the house, I thought to myself that that would be the last time Isabella would be in our house. I laid Isabella down carefully on the stretcher that was prepared behind the minivan that was repurposed as a hearse. I remember thinking how small and helpless Isabella looked as she laid on the stretcher. These things were made for grown adults and not for children. Julianne and I gave Isabella another kiss, then cried more as they wrapped her up and closed off the bag. We continued to cry as the hearse drove Isabella off. We continued to cry as we walked back into the house.<a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-9_XO7MthgCI/UGE-QI37qoI/AAAAAAAAD0g/QLil3Yo6sfA/s1600-h/P10807204.jpg"><img alt="P1080720" border="0" height="292" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-XK2fBmh9SU0/UGE-QnjKN3I/AAAAAAAAD0k/UPPmjI7i8S4/P1080720_thumb4.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="P1080720" width="421" /></a><br />
Our family would now forever be incomplete. As we stood and cried in our kitchen holding each other, we could only comfort ourselves knowing that Isabella was no longer suffering, but now watching over us.<br />
<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-8a-4IangHLc/UGE-RjRWiDI/AAAAAAAAD00/5JER28xNcxk/s1600-h/P10807213.jpg"><img alt="P1080721" border="0" height="304" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-6NSocfA8icE/UGE-SJdvedI/AAAAAAAAD08/7FYop0mR-y8/P1080721_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" style="background-image: none; border-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;" title="P1080721" width="229" /></a>Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-17351979955941362262012-09-29T15:51:00.001-04:002012-09-29T15:51:24.919-04:00Isabella’s Video<p>Here is the video that we played at Isabella’s wake displaying lots of highlights from her life.  It’s pretty lengthy at an hour and ten minutes, so you may want to grab some popcorn (and some tissues!)  Youtube may also take it down at any time since it does contain a bunch of commercial music.</p> <p><iframe height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/SA1hQ0HN5UM" frameborder="0" width="420" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-78034453844861042422012-09-27T19:22:00.001-04:002012-09-27T19:22:53.003-04:00Isabella Laid To Rest<p>Today, we laid our little Isabella to rest, amid a sea of bright and beautiful colors.  It has been an utterly exhausting week.  Give me a couple days and I’ll post something about the services.  In the meantime, enjoy this photo of a lantern that we lit at the cemetery in her honor.</p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-iu2GoqY3Vjo/UGTfymM_SjI/AAAAAAAAD1Y/9vOAXlg6Yds/s1600-h/isabella_lantern%25255B2%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="isabella_lantern" border="0" alt="isabella_lantern" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-gA1LJvLMwjs/UGTfy56EPGI/AAAAAAAAD1g/6USITv-7rrc/isabella_lantern_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="183" height="304" /></a></p> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-18598719905787629622012-09-22T18:29:00.001-04:002012-09-24T20:09:58.405-04:00UPDATED: Wake and Funeral Arrangements<p><em>Update:  Reception information added below.</em></p> <p>There can’t be much worse things to do than to plan the funeral for your child.  As Julianne and I sat with the funeral director, I thought how unnatural it is to be looking at a casket so small.  And yet, there was a conflicting feeling I had of how beautiful the casket is and how the dress that we have picked out for Isabella would look so nice in it.  <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3yl_jVjh5LHtnjRPeN6ZD5HmPxFB5y3_U3la_j_wSP8O-inEeljvHOod_xdMAbX3wL5KM2s29COChn1rT_fwEGkh1wAQpY3cf1tcoUriRVpLpqlmxtGoC7T_wCCqOBskiin-LwhmzGkUm/s1600-h/P1020399%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1020399" border="0" alt="P1020399" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-EbjjIfi-09Q/UF475CAVluI/AAAAAAAADx0/11dLrXTcJhw/P1020399_thumb%25255B8%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="458" height="268" /></a></p> <p>As we toured the cemetery, again, I had conflicting and polarizing feelings as we tried to pick the perfect spot where Isabella would spend forever.  The lack of sleep and appetite caused waves of nausea and I just wanted to go home.  I just wanted to hug Isabella one more time.</p> <p>Anyway, here is what we finally settled on.  I do hope that as many people as possible can come out and help us remember Isabella.</p> <p><strong><em><u>I should also note that we are encouraging everyone to dress in bright and vivid colors to the activities.  As you know, Isabella loved the rainbow’s colors (especially purple), so let’s shower her with colors.</u></em></strong></p> <h4><u>Wake</u></h4> <p>The wake will be held at <a href="http://www.collins-funeral.com/">Collins Funeral Home</a>, 92 East Avenue, Norwalk, CT on Wednesday, September 26 from 4:00pm to 8:00pm.  I would like to add that we are planning an open casket because we wanted everyone to see how beautiful Isabella is for one last time.  Parents may want to prepare their children.</p> Map:  <a title="http://goo.gl/maps/g7bQ3" href="http://goo.gl/maps/g7bQ3">http://goo.gl/maps/g7bQ3</a> <br /> <h4><u>Funeral</u></h4> <p>The funeral mass will be held at <a href="http://stthomasnorwalk.com/">St. Thomas the Apostle Church</a>, 203 East Avenue, Norwalk, CT on Thursday, September 27 at 10:00am.  This was the church where Isabella was baptized and had her first communion.</p> <p>Map:  <a title="http://goo.gl/maps/B0JUJ" href="http://goo.gl/maps/B0JUJ">http://goo.gl/maps/B0JUJ</a></p> <h4><u>Burial</u></h4> <p>The burial will immediately follow the mass at Fairfield Memorial Park, 230 Oaklawn Avenue, Stamford, CT.  Roneil’s dad, grandmother, grandfather, and uncle are also buried here so it’ll be nice that she’ll be with other family.</p> <p>Map:  <a title="http://goo.gl/maps/b3BB0" href="http://goo.gl/maps/b3BB0">http://goo.gl/maps/b3BB0</a></p> <h4><u>Reception</u></h4> <p>A family friend has graciously offered their house to host the reception, which will immediately follow the burial.  The reception will be held at 61 Cove Ave., Norwalk, CT.  All are welcome.</p> <p>Map:  <a title="http://goo.gl/maps/uNOoB" href="http://goo.gl/maps/uNOoB">http://goo.gl/maps/uNOoB</a></p> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-48033630420144453642012-09-22T01:53:00.001-04:002012-09-23T13:05:37.366-04:00“We Have All Been Touched”<p><em>Author’s Note: We are overwhelmed by the outpouring of support from everyone.  Please check back over the weekend for details on services for Isabella.  In the meantime, please enjoy the following post which I was planning on posting last night.</em></p> <em></em> <p> <br />We heard from Marvin school officials that they really wanted to do something for Pediatric Cancer Awareness month to raise awareness for pediatric cancer and to also honor Isabella in some way (<i>ed. note: They had already planned to do something for Isabella before she passed away.</i>).  To raise awareness, they distributed gold ribbon pins to everyone and they had all the children color a gold ribbon and provide examples of Courage, Caring, Hope, and Love.  This was all part of the “We Have All Been Touched” campaign.</p> <p> <br />To honor Isabella, the school is selling purple butterflies (Isabella’s favorite color, of course!), which you can customize any way you want and these would then be hung all over the school.  Proceeds from the sale will be donated to help fund research to find a cure for pediatric cancer.</p> <p> <br />Last night, Marvin had their open house night and it was our first chance to visit the school and we also decided to bring Isabella.  When we got to the school, we were not prepared to see the amazing display of gold ribbons and purple butterflies that decorated the hallways.  I wish we had the time to sit and read every one of the children’s writings because many of them were poignant, insightful, and downright sweet.  Some brought us to tears.</p> <p> <br />We are forever grateful to the Marvin community which has provided so much support throughout the years. <br /></p> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-NcZUYz0GdE0/UF1SM-QAzJI/AAAAAAAADv8/U38ugP1a1K8/s1600-h/Roneil%252527s%252520Lumia%252520900_000242%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Roneil's Lumia 900_000242" border="0" alt="Roneil's Lumia 900_000242" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-TZarQpW90hI/UF1SNnUvJnI/AAAAAAAADwE/HNF016M8CbM/Roneil%252527s%252520Lumia%252520900_000242_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a></h6> <a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-TnSHjYb1s6c/UF1SPJOhv_I/AAAAAAAADwM/cXVH0sgkBUY/s1600-h/Roneil%252527s%252520Lumia%252520900_000240%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><span style="color: #956839"></span><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Roneil's Lumia 900_000240" border="0" alt="Roneil's Lumia 900_000240" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-xj8u1SyLoNg/UF1SPhpLb3I/AAAAAAAADwU/fgSjPzNGiP4/Roneil%252527s%252520Lumia%252520900_000240_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a> <br /><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-jff0oXiFJL8/UF1SQ-hzx_I/AAAAAAAADwc/ciho4jljw7I/s1600-h/Roneil%252527s%252520Lumia%252520900_000241%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Roneil's Lumia 900_000241" border="0" alt="Roneil's Lumia 900_000241" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-sWiACd0Z9CY/UF1SRWD8NoI/AAAAAAAADwk/hFqJGFhBpcQ/Roneil%252527s%252520Lumia%252520900_000241_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="229" height="304" /></a> <br /><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-IsnUDbM_XA0/UF1STI7rYPI/AAAAAAAADws/GqZjxw9Ub40/s1600-h/Roneil%252527s%252520Lumia%252520900_000243%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Roneil's Lumia 900_000243" border="0" alt="Roneil's Lumia 900_000243" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-2FDzpdy7VtQ/UF1STg4WpVI/AAAAAAAADw0/Vw_K5xkQgAc/Roneil%252527s%252520Lumia%252520900_000243_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a> <br /><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-JjaMFOw6OYY/UF1SU1SLpKI/AAAAAAAADw8/WCkXzFN-zQ4/s1600-h/Roneil%252527s%252520Lumia%252520900_000244%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Roneil's Lumia 900_000244" border="0" alt="Roneil's Lumia 900_000244" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-2rKiQTJ1yaE/UF1SVom6MwI/AAAAAAAADxE/R29YoBGLa0E/Roneil%252527s%252520Lumia%252520900_000244_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a> <br /><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-Y_hmP8X2MnA/UF1SWqK0mHI/AAAAAAAADxM/619jC9dWNeo/s1600-h/Roneil%252527s%252520Lumia%252520900_000245%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Roneil's Lumia 900_000245" border="0" alt="Roneil's Lumia 900_000245" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-9_swkq61E80/UF1SW0Gdf4I/AAAAAAAADxU/Wj7hpeTK4ls/Roneil%252527s%252520Lumia%252520900_000245_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="229" height="304" /></a> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-32027160571569354672012-09-21T18:02:00.002-04:002012-09-21T18:02:47.059-04:00Goodbye IsabellaAt 5:15pm today, Isabella took her last breath. She died comfortably, surrounded by her family and lots of love. May an army of angels lead her into heaven.Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com48tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-70578580152901007932012-09-21T09:04:00.003-04:002012-09-21T09:04:30.423-04:00Please Pray for IsabellaShe is not doing well right now. Please pray for her and us that we have the strength to get through this.Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-3379897287324050552012-09-17T13:28:00.000-04:002012-09-17T13:28:46.763-04:00What Makes You BeautifulAs part of pediatric cancer awareness month, the Aflac Cancer Center in Atlanta created the video below. It includes a bunch of kids, nurses and doctors singing to One Direction's "What Makes You Beautiful".<br />
<br />
Pass it on! :)<br />
<br />
<iframe width="434" height="244" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/dLYeDc3nNzI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-64241888209478829802012-09-02T13:01:00.001-04:002012-09-02T13:01:23.163-04:00Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month<h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-zuv6W1mb_6Y/UEOQ1x31QgI/AAAAAAAADu8/SNEB1kWlTU4/s1600-h/P1080528%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080528" border="0" alt="P1080528" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-9OsDy6eDL8s/UEOQ2sfjAfI/AAAAAAAADvE/g6p3n3ycEpg/P1080528_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Nathaniel gives his big sister a kiss.</h6> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/--J7EUy7Nz0I/UEOQ3CfRXgI/AAAAAAAADvM/yPtU0ANS5oI/s1600-h/gold_ribbon%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="gold_ribbon" border="0" alt="gold_ribbon" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-RtoqLNHxYhU/UEOQ3sZeHjI/AAAAAAAADvU/c4UpYkendgw/gold_ribbon_thumb%25255B3%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="304" height="304" /></a></p> <p>Faithful readers of Isabella’s Fight are painfully aware of pediatric cancer and the real effects that it has on a family.  Unfortunately, overall awareness is relatively low, especially compared with other adult cancers.  Fortunately, this summer, President Obama signed a bill that gives the pharmaceuticals some incentives to develop some newer and better treatments for our children.  What they develop remains to be seen, but it’s an improvement, considering that a measly 1% of research goes to children, which is disgusting.</p> <p>Please take a minute to review some of the childhood cancer facts in the poster below (borrowed from <a href="http://www.facebook.com/GoldTheNewPink#!/GoldTheNewPink">Gold: The New Pink</a> Facebook page).  Four years ago, we never thought we’d be in this situation.  Cancer was what happened to other people.  But here we are.<a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-NMAsdNnvvoA/UEOQ4PerKVI/AAAAAAAADvc/EcNlhvNzAy0/s1600-h/kids_cancer_facts%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="kids_cancer_facts" border="0" alt="kids_cancer_facts" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPPI7e9AyJmQvg3i8ZZQY5bNkc8PTRx0L-9wToMOmpjO7C2dV0uoIOMNmJwL__inWpBQvZqY11YFojL8afyA4_IuUxfSR-qTLbNXFKV3_pdlxl3mOnfAN4D_fSboteEtn0B7qRmJWz2xRY/?imgmax=800" width="404" height="521" /></a></p> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-21464523041784561082012-08-29T23:07:00.001-04:002012-08-29T23:07:30.340-04:00Back to School - 2012<p>I remember when I was a kid, back to school day was always a dreadful day which meant the end of the carefree summer days.  No more playing outside until it was dark or staying up late.  It meant getting up early and doing homework.  For some odd reason, maybe it’s Julianne’s influence on them, but the kids actually have been looking forward to going back to school, which I guess is a good thing.  In Nathaniel’s case, he’s super excited since he’s starting kindergarten, so I’ll give him a pass this year. (Of course, it’s in the back of my mind that Isabella was diagnosed two months after she started kindergarten….)</p> <p>So in recent years, back to school day has been a pretty exciting day in the Icatar household.  But this year, the day will be bittersweet.  Although Nathaniel’s enthusiasm and excitement over riding the bus for the first time will be unmatched, Isabella will not be able to join him or Annalise in going to school.</p> <p>Isabella has been assigned a teacher, but she will probably never spend another day at school.  Oh she may get a visit to the classroom for a special day or two, but she won’t get to participate in class or socialize with her friends.</p> <p>I was looking at pictures from the previous years’ back to schools, and just seeing the dramatic decline from last year is shocking.  Where last year Isabella was able to walk and talk (albeit with a little difficulty), this year Isabella can’t move any part of her body.  Isabella can also no longer eat on her own, so all of her nutrition is pushed through a tube that goes in her nose and into her stomach.  We haven’t heard her speak in months or smile or laugh in weeks.  Her only form of communication now is she will open her eyes a little wider to answer “yes” to a question, and even in recent days, sometimes she doesn’t answer.  At times, she still struggles to breathe, so we need to constantly reposition her and swab out the mucous in her mouth to make sure her airways are optimally cleared.</p> <p>Yeah, this Fall is a lot different than the previous years.</p> <p>Here are a couple pictures from some of the back to school days from better times.</p> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-obJX0lrn4As/UD7YsS_yXwI/AAAAAAAADsM/uTCHkANsxiA/s1600-h/IMG_0374%25255B9%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="IMG_0374" border="0" alt="IMG_0374" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-l9lwFv41jbM/UD7Ys8rncVI/AAAAAAAADsU/e3Gu_pZ8qPg/IMG_0374_thumb%25255B6%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Isabella gets on the bus for the first time to go to kindergarten!</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-Rdv81eumzwI/UD7YuNNVABI/AAAAAAAADsc/l0D034XmqVQ/s1600-h/IMG_0378%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="IMG_0378" border="0" alt="IMG_0378" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-xBul17Fw1ss/UD7Yu2XEW0I/AAAAAAAADsk/uNB6SP8PdTI/IMG_0378_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Annalise walks Isabella into school for the first day!  This is one of our favorite pictures of all time.</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxvyVXxf15DWPejCy27bFa9HhnN45LXChN3-C5Jt9roYG0C9QYJDW3HVm60hEOAuOovU4WPI2e3Tomrn-iBUQsIyVonO8TjCsi_69zYq2uWBUTXZPNzjo07Ngk0eIF1s4HzN90kvE8xqUL/s1600-h/IMG_0381%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="IMG_0381" border="0" alt="IMG_0381" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-vBU390OwfEU/UD7YwJ7SBdI/AAAAAAAADs0/2st5DKZS0z8/IMG_0381_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Isabella gets ready to work on her first day in kindergarten.  We didn’t think much about her crooked smile at the time.</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-8R1FTPO1X_g/UD7Yw9IMrOI/AAAAAAAADs8/6WKqVHU25zc/s1600-h/P1000516%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1000516" border="0" alt="P1000516" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-IenenCUS5H4/UD7YxNPXDtI/AAAAAAAADtE/hmfPvMJbyTc/P1000516_thumb%25255B4%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="388" height="317" /></a>This is Isabella’s first day of school for first grade.  She had just completed an intensive course of radiation in Boston, which is why half of her hair is gone, and amazingly only missed the first couple days of school.</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/--H2tkjRIQ1k/UD7Yyesb88I/AAAAAAAADtM/RIfy9xUC3XU/s1600-h/P1000519%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1000519" border="0" alt="P1000519" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-l-uZgjCMVlU/UD7Yy5yORQI/AAAAAAAADtU/d1j605PTp00/P1000519_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Annalise and Isabella look out of the school bus on their way to school.</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-xVbS8ZZXbyo/UD7Y0StViLI/AAAAAAAADtc/BiMXU_8P_to/s1600-h/P1030042%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1030042" border="0" alt="P1030042" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-6uxayDj6CbA/UD7Y1C9Rk1I/AAAAAAAADtk/I4rS7o0Tg-I/P1030042_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Annalise, Isabella, and Nathaniel wait at the bus stop.  Isabella started second grade.  Note that even though he’s not going to school yet, Nathaniel insisted on wearing a backpack.</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-Yh-16QhQp2U/UD7Y2lnijUI/AAAAAAAADts/0yq-QiGy79U/s1600-h/P1030315%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1030315" border="0" alt="P1030315" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-xmPktscUAXM/UD7Y3eBeeqI/AAAAAAAADt0/fgXAWrYurrE/P1030315_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Isabella has a big smile for grandpa as they wait for the bus.</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-jk6xgPCWJyg/UD7Y36537bI/AAAAAAAADt8/1Rc6l80KYbg/s1600-h/P1030318%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1030318" border="0" alt="P1030318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSztv4UzsPC3kS8UaKdx5q44EBy-h8kKxPeDCkyqpNplEoyQOZhBqT7JzS-6-3JOXmyGbfuxaJ_j30A2MjHxRLGyeRaUEjXW6DUu5DU30xA1szhKynmlWUOrouae0NBYYamZVCnxIKqYDt/?imgmax=800" width="405" height="303" /></a>Isabella sits at the bus stop with mommy and grandpa.  Isabella’s classmate, Sebastian, and his sister sit next to them.  Sebastian died earlier this year after his own battle with cancer.</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy7m8VtUG4s1srYWVS5sUl9pr19zYZ0Y675NIM0Te_P5htAqO07SBKzc4Yi9yDLeln20wLDyN_gsy389aBhthUyUsLkg-9mJeCzANZFtmOtlTSX7rO2w-I1LPlHvlPfc26a38qQ78DJoBW/s1600-h/P1060111%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1060111" border="0" alt="P1060111" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-qtAjO7iHwtg/UD7Y6NXIcOI/AAAAAAAADuU/SabSWek2cRk/P1060111_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Isabella starts the third grade last year with her friend and aid Kim.</h6> <h6 align="center"><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-e8kwfleoWyo/UD7Y7qt7eqI/AAAAAAAADuc/qIrt4n1AZhk/s1600-h/P1060113%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1060113" border="0" alt="P1060113" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-G-PWI6n2bek/UD7Y8f7hTwI/AAAAAAAADug/eqFecaOMNL4/P1060113_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="404" height="304" /></a>Isabella has a big smile for her third grade teacher.</h6> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707108333541661192.post-76514901298202416332012-08-10T00:13:00.001-04:002012-08-11T01:03:08.251-04:00UPDATED: Isabella’s 9th Birthday!<p> <p><strong><u>Updated with today’s pictures!</u></strong></p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-zRkJAXrijXg/UCXnVc6W77I/AAAAAAAADow/TYjw2WLbzys/s1600-h/P1080306%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080306" border="0" alt="P1080306" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-HW6Kz_OtpDc/UCXnVyjuMaI/AAAAAAAADo4/Juqd--ieK_g/P1080306_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="304" height="404" /></a></p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-7nwJVUjl8M0/UCXnWZtMPSI/AAAAAAAADpA/CN4OjQY7b8A/s1600-h/P1080314%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1080314" border="0" alt="P1080314" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-4E6X4VF7dd8/UCXnXtMi_UI/AAAAAAAADpI/a-axIksOuvA/P1080314_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="304" height="229" /></a></p> <p>I really liked what I did last year when I posted a bunch of pictures of Isabella for her 8th birthday, so I thought I would do the same this year.  Although looking at these pictures makes me sad, especially when I look at Isabella’s debilitated state today, I also look back fondly on better days and smile.  So I hope they make you smile and join me in wishing our special girl a happy birthday and that our wish for a cure comes true.</p> <p> <p><u><strong>Day 1! August 10, 2003</strong></u></p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-kPlsiMmX5-0/UCXnYTp33iI/AAAAAAAADpQ/v9aWm8dVj6w/s1600-h/DSCN2045_thumb%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><font color="#956839"></font><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSCN2045_thumb" border="0" alt="DSCN2045_thumb" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEies-DEX26Bh3wp7GaIi29X4aWEHVvxPfoC0hDTfe0uxJgbSaqMFluvxvPsajFPdeELFUlgjvX_vZw2wplrYiSBDEJo_I4iwpP2hDgE_ks7krJO9_Pfysft6rFrMujTcl6KBPhe6RfhLOVA/?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a></p> <p><strong><u>1st Birthday</u></strong></p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-HwjhG6DkxSY/UCXnZtvw7hI/AAAAAAAADpg/LipR3RMzRu4/s1600-h/DSCN2451_thumb%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSCN2451_thumb" border="0" alt="DSCN2451_thumb" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-kXA9zw9lIAQ/UCXnaqQDZTI/AAAAAAAADpo/-j12bW8dRws/DSCN2451_thumb_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="184" height="244" /></a></p> <p><strong><u>2nd Birthday</u></strong></p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-4fYuJUrwINo/UCXna4rIRLI/AAAAAAAADpw/NXT3Sw3gRPk/s1600-h/DSCN2768_thumb%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSCN2768_thumb" border="0" alt="DSCN2768_thumb" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-IXx9S1wIU5k/UCXnbjb5DRI/AAAAAAAADp4/PLfBqt0tV5Y/DSCN2768_thumb_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a></p> <p><strong><u>3rd Birthday</u></strong></p> <p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-9fRMP1Sd3yg/UCXncIfXSGI/AAAAAAAADqA/GW_9QHuByB4/s1600-h/DSCN3195_thumb%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSCN3195_thumb" border="0" alt="DSCN3195_thumb" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitYGYtZh_uuAKxRrJ2MLa02E5dpCw3U1rKihB6xlfXz7oNk4cqeoii4UR8YFAmGPXwSd32X1u3W_FSFQZYwSoXUUCCE12s5d0vJqri_CYGakz23kuwuCRRLuk1YmKW_h6Uwt-_XCO58fAd/?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a></p> <p><strong><u>4th Birthday</u></strong>. I’ve almost forgotten how cute she was with her pigtails!</p> <div style="padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: none; padding-top: 0px" id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:c6dadc07-6bf8-47af-a1ae-771e39c5036d" class="class"><embed height="277" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="448" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/EIiJ-Vmi750?hd=1" wmode="transparent" /> <div style="width: 448px; clear: both; font-size: 0.8em" class="wlEditField" defaulttext="Enter video caption here" wlpropertypath="Video.caption" maxcharactersaccepted="245" isdefaulttext="true">Enter video caption here</div> </div> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-ZfnvsgQSO4E/UCXndNUGwpI/AAAAAAAADqQ/Q25UWjBPd9A/s1600-h/IMG_1362_thumb%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="IMG_1362_thumb" border="0" alt="IMG_1362_thumb" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-FTxuHZxnmtY/UCXnd7fM7bI/AAAAAAAADqY/ujMGQhoIYr0/IMG_1362_thumb_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a></p> <p><strong><u>5th Birthday</u></strong>. Three months later, Isabella would be sent to NYU to have a tumor removed from her head.</p> <p><a href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-PCTDmTdH-Ps/UCXnea6R36I/AAAAAAAADqg/qiv-ZARPupg/s1600-h/100_0474_thumb%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="100_0474_thumb" border="0" alt="100_0474_thumb" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-YJM4EdUKMi8/UCXne6Nl3EI/AAAAAAAADqo/q_fq6BWtKA4/100_0474_thumb_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a></p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-rzPgT-Q54Ew/UCXnfCrZ9VI/AAAAAAAADqw/JZhHC85oHYM/s1600-h/IMG_0337_thumb%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="IMG_0337_thumb" border="0" alt="IMG_0337_thumb" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-yynRZbPkowc/UCXnft7Uo6I/AAAAAAAADq4/4ymWQMuRxjY/IMG_0337_thumb_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a></p> <p><strong><u>6th Birthday</u></strong>. Isabella was going through radiation treatments during her birthday.</p> <div style="padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: none; padding-top: 0px" id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:8a74481c-dda8-469f-9bb6-33d274c2ec7f" class="class"><embed height="277" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="448" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BQtRKOPP7w0?hd=1" wmode="transparent" /> <div style="width: 448px; clear: both; font-size: 0.8em" class="wlEditField" defaulttext="Enter video caption here" wlpropertypath="Video.caption" maxcharactersaccepted="245" isdefaulttext="true">Enter video caption here</div> </div> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-NKJMjdHwexY/UCXngLNN2DI/AAAAAAAADrA/0aamMaaWVMA/s1600-h/isabella_birthday_thumb%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="isabella_birthday_thumb" border="0" alt="isabella_birthday_thumb" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-xeqFMiiRFhk/UCXngtfZF3I/AAAAAAAADrI/i98PyT0hhxI/isabella_birthday_thumb_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a></p> <p><strong><u>7th Birthday</u></strong>. We were at Camp Sunshine during her 7th birthday, and the entire camp sang her happy birthday!</p> <div style="padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: none; padding-top: 0px" id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:f788213c-2498-466a-a3a3-cf3dfaa7aaa2" class="class"><embed height="252" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="448" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/226qQz2BZQY?hd=1" wmode="transparent" /> <div style="width: 448px; clear: both; font-size: 0.8em" class="wlEditField" defaulttext="Enter video caption here" wlpropertypath="Video.caption" maxcharactersaccepted="245" isdefaulttext="true">Enter video caption here</div> </div> <a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-APFbMn0iVWg/UCXnhPEcVGI/AAAAAAAADrQ/k5MTkRbeszY/s1600-h/Maine-2010-125_thumb%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Maine-2010-125_thumb" border="0" alt="Maine-2010-125_thumb" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-_tDCKvKmtXE/UCXnhvaJDkI/AAAAAAAADrY/FtWU-SVdkMo/Maine-2010-125_thumb_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="184" /></a> <p><strong><u>8th Birthday</u></strong></p> <div style="padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: none; padding-top: 0px" id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:f4348edf-6c91-45e7-9f14-af2767fc8b03" class="class"><embed height="277" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="448" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/S_NiukrNL5g?hd=1" wmode="transparent" /> <div style="width: 448px; clear: both; font-size: 0.8em" class="wlEditField" defaulttext="Enter video caption here" wlpropertypath="Video.caption" maxcharactersaccepted="245" isdefaulttext="true">Enter video caption here</div> </div> <a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-d3cApWW5Jbs/UCXniLaor3I/AAAAAAAADrg/dVvlburnkBM/s1600-h/P1050881_thumb%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; margin-left: auto; border-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1050881_thumb" border="0" alt="P1050881_thumb" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-kpG7P_NXx9Q/UCXni7y5ImI/AAAAAAAADro/LI5_eIV7Z9A/P1050881_thumb_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="184" height="244" /></a> Roneil Icatarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01789833678283437588noreply@blogger.com8